I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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