How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you never un-have a 4some
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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