i just had sex bonerless
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
