Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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