Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
