I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
