Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
