I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
