There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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