Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How external is "for external use only"?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
