Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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