opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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