kristin has been a bad kristin
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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