Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
