if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
