I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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