she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
