i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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