Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
