I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
