if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
no more duck duck goose at the bar
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
