Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
