Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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