dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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