Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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