He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
