But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
