I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
