At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
