Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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