you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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