That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
