Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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