that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
