is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
