somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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