apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
