can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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