Im at strip club and am horny
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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