so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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