Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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