What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
