How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
