My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
