the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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