I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
