She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
stop calling my apartment porn island.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
