He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
