imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize