I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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