think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize