Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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