I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
