Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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