i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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