a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
