Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
