In America we eat man semen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
