Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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