white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
