Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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