false alarm. still invincible.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
