all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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